A Levy’s Wry humor column by Bill Levy © Bill Levy 2003
I was born on January 1st. Everyone assumes that New Year’s Day is a great day for a birthday. Wrong.
I can never find anyone to share my birthday cake because this is the one day of the year when people seriously attempt to keep their dieting resolutions.
Actually, it’s pretty difficult to find anyone to share my birthday; most people are hung over or are too exhausted from frolicking the night before to remember their names much less my birthday. And if they are coherent, they’re too mesmerized watching three dozen football bowl games or applauding the endless parades of smiling tulip floats on the television to worry about a certain birthday boy.
Being born on January 1st is terrible in terms of presents. Unlike those lucky dogs who were born in the spring or summer, I get one gift for the two occasions. Most people give me combination Christmas/Chanukah and birthday gifts and I don’t mean a new Prius from column A and season tickets to the New York Knicks from column B. Also, many of the gifts I receive – black orange, and pink colored ties, pink, orange, and black silverware, or orange, pink, and black animated, talking oysters – look suspiciously like those re-gifted Christmas gifts which my “friends” didn’t want and couldn’t returned.
There are other problems: Until I was seven, I thought the world was celebrating my birthday on New Year’s Eve. It’s difficult feeling like an adult when everyone calls you a New Year’s Baby. And recently I read a magazine article that maintained that your personality is shaped by the environmental conditions surrounding the day you were conceived. Nine months before January 1st is April Fool’s Day.
I have a cousin, Robert, who was born three hours before me at 11:00 pm on December 31st. When we were growing up, he constantly teased me that I was a year younger. Now, when I could retort that he’s a year older, it’s too late – we both resemble Father Time.
My book, Using Humor to Combat and Conquer Stress featuring twenty-five humor columns about aggravating dilemnas, will be published later in 2012.